My Father

When I speak of my father, I don't mean some imaginary being who keeps tabs and surveillance on me 24/7. I am talking about my real father. My Earthly, tangible and living father. He was born and raised Roman Catholic in the Philippines.

Before I became religion-free, I constantly asked my father about our religion. The one thing I noticed was his cohesion with science and religion. He is no scientist, but there are some things he melds with science and religion. For example, I asked him about Genesis and the origin of the universe; did he believe the world was created in seven days? The simple answer would be no. The more complex answer he would give me is this:

The world was created in seven days, but God's perception of days is much different from ours. We live within a 24 hour clock. God is eternal and therefore a day may be millions if not billions of years to God.

I showed him videos of the Creationist museum in the United States. He was pissed. He told me that those Christians are nutcases and they have no idea when they are talking about. I agreed with him. It's too bad he's stuck with the same belief's as them.

Another question I would ask him was, does he believe in Adam and Eve? The simple answer is Yes. The more complex answer is this:

God created man and woman. When he damned them to live on Earth their genes were not as simple as you or I have in our blood. Instead the were blessed with complex genes that allowed humanity to flourish from just one man and one woman. [ I don't get how vindictive God can be to damn two people and have the future generations to suffer for their loss]

I tended to agree with him in his mythological logic. However looking back at it now, I find no basis to believe any of it.

My father is a person who lives an old-world mentality. He harbours when he has learned in the past and refuses to accept future views.

My father is homophobic. I've realized that my father is an extremely homophobic person. When Toronto was passing legislature to allow gay marriage he would often yell at the television about how it was wrong to be gay. His response about gays are the same as every homophobic, "As long as they don't bother me, I don't give a fuck what they do." I never understood why he would be so against something that is obviously natural. I guess it's because he's a baby boomer. In those years it was impossible for those to be freely gay in public. For those who chanced being openly gay were condemned by society. My view is a lot different from his. I honestly don't find anything wrong with gay marriage and the gay community. I never really believed in forcing upon something that isn't possible. You can't "ungay" [if that isn't a word, then I made it up] a person. From my observations as a child growing up with a gay aunt and with gay friends I firmly believe people are born gay. It is definitely not a choice. Any hormonal analysis will prove my point.

My father is militant against other religions. Muslim, Buddhist, Hindu, Mormons and Baptists are on his hit-list. More recently he has been very ignorant towards my brother-in-laws Gnostic family. If any people from those religious beliefs say anything that goes against his faith (i.e. virgin birth analysis, holy communion, etc) he will hold a personal grudge. I remember on several accounts my father would constantly tell me how one person blasphemed the Catholic doctrine. Often he would tell me how he would like to slap those people across the head. I often wonder what would happen if I told him I was Religion-free and don't believe in god and Jesus. I would be disowned and he would never talk to me. I often worry that I will never come to terms with him, because he would be dead and the moment of reconciliation will never come. I will never change my belief in a no god philosophy. I have followed the path of believing in a God and it's brought me nothing but headache and false hopes. He will never understand what I am going through and don't expect him to, but I will hold off telling him the truth; as he is already living his life through a lie.