Keiffe and Sons' Advert

So I'm browsing The Consumerist- let's face it, we're all consumers - and I come across an article about a California based Ford dealership (Kieffe and Sons) that is spreading religious bigoted propaganda over the airwaves on public radio. If you want to listen to the radio advert click here to visit The Consumerist article.

What got secular individuals riled up is the basis that the radio advert blatantly picks out and insults non-believers. Oh and possibly because it has absolutely nothing to do with selling Ford Automobiles!
I live in Canada. We have our own problems between the religious reich and secular individuals, but not to the point where zealots blatantly use their religion to sell products. Actually, thinking about it makes me laugh. Imagine the possible scenarios:

IKEA: "We here at IKEA believe in quality products at a cheap price. By Thor's Hammer we will crush the competition. Come in for our complimentary Loki Dogs! They're Caaa-razy!"

Bad Boy Furniture: "Come in and take a look at our selections on the floors. We have love seats, sofas, bed springs and more. Whoooo's better than Badboy? Noooobody... who doesn't believe in Yahweh!"

Futureshop: Customer: Hello, I'm here to purchase a stereo system.
Rep: Oh what did you have in mind?
Customer: Something small with big sound.
Rep: I have just the thing for you; compact and sleek!
Customer: Oh awesome. Let's give it a test drive.
Rep: Noo problem, let me pop in one of my Gregorian Chant cds and we're on our way.
Customer: Gregor.. who?
[Gregorian Chant music plays and light from above shines on the customer and rep]
Customer: [looks up into the light] I'm a Buddhist you know.
[Rep gives customer a knuckle sandwich]
Fin

Yes, I know those scenarios are a tad campy, but I'm trying to prove a point. Religion, no matter what context you put it in is just horrendously ignorant. In the case of Kiffe and Sons, the advertiser really pulled out the metaphorical big-guns. There is an update to this story, which isn't a pretty one either, but you can click here and view it on the consumerist site. They totally knew what they were doing. There is no doubt in my mind about that. Sure, Rick Keiffe apologised, but he is one of the many Christians who thought 'everyone' would approve their one sided message. It was when he got the calls that he began to question, "Humm, maybe that was a bad move. Well, hell! I'll just blame it on the advertiser and no one will be none the wiser. Yessir!"

The advertiser got wind of the situation, oh and he is pissed-off at the non-believers. There is no way of confirming whether this blog going on a tirade about non-believers, gays and the Japanese is authentic, because this is the Internet. There are numerous possibilities:
A: This could be some simple prank by a fellow religion-free non-believer. Who used the name J.W. Horne [J Whore. We can all speculate what the J stands for.].
B: It's the handy work of a Christian brethren who is defending the advertiser.
C: It's real and J.W. Horne breaks the rules of Internet anonymity, nub!

What does Mr. Horne have to say for himself? Well, nothing constructive to say the least. Let me break the unedited tirade blog post piece by piece with my own comments [everyone loves these]:

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Kieffe and Sons ford radio ad

"For those of you out there in never never land or la la land or maybe underground and under the radar who are so called non believers, I am the man who wrote and recorded the Kieffe and sons spot."

Excellent start, Horne. Way to get people educated in your knowledge of imaginary places.

"In fact I write and produce all of the Kieffe and Sons ford spots. I have had the pleasure of serving the advertising for the dealership for many years."

After that stupid stunt who knows if you'll have a job left. Wait, you live in America. WWJD?

"I am a believer and I am pretty sure that most everyone at Kieffe and Sons ford are also believers. I wrote and produced the spot that so many of you "unbelievers" find offensive."

*sigh* Did anyone ever tell you the phrase "If you assume, you make an ASS out of U and ME"? In any case, it's not the fact that you decided to speak for everyone you assumed was religious in Kieffe and sons, but it's the fact you assumed everyone listening to the advert was a Christian like you. WRONG!

"Frankly I don't give a flip whether you are an atheist or just plain doubter. I wrote and recorded the truth. There is a great silent majority of Americans that are believers."

The truth? Oh yeah you did make your bigotry blatant and of course you are just trying to represent the rest of the 'vocal'- I stress vocal- Christian majority. That word 'silent' shouldn't even be in that sentence.

"The difference between them and you is this.[;] Believers do not have to justify their existence. The only ones in this country that respond to an honest ad are the ones who seem to despise honesty."

Yeah it takes others like ourselves to justify your existence, but your loud mouths prevent us from ignoring your existence. "God crated man in his own image" as unshakable truth? Want to know how honest that ad was? fuck-everyone-up-the-ass-who-isn't-christian honest. You say that 86% of people in America say they believe in god, but how accurate is that poll? Was it as simple as saying "Do you believe in the christian god?" or as vague as saying "Do you believe in god? Yes or no?"

"The truth is this.[:] This country was founded on the belief in God. All you have to do is read the constitution and see for yourself."

Well, I did and you might not like what I found:

Amendment 1 - Freedom of Religion, Press, Expression. Ratified 12/15/1791. Note

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

I even did a search for the word God, His Holiness, The Almighty and Allah, but couldn't find it in the U.S. Constitution. This is one of the many arguments that christians use in America. We always seem to hand their ass on a plate with this one.

"Now does that mean that everyone here must believe? NO absolutely not. The great thing about the constitution is that it allows for each American citizen to believe as the wish and speak and do what they want so long as it is within the law. I support that. I support everyones right to think and do and live as they wish. I do not condem any American that disagrees with me. You all can stand up and shout, burn flags, gather on a corner and cuss the government, males can marry males, females can marry females you can all buy one of those imports and send the money to Japan if you want, but you do not have the right to force your philosophy on to others."

Do I really need to say anything about this paragraph? Mr. Horne just shot himself in the foot and is trying his hardest to convince you it's not bleeding.
Me: Are you sure you're alright? It's gushing all over the place.
Horne: Sure, sure! I'm fine and dandy! In any case, it's supposed to do that.

"I think that it is time for you to understand this very simple little fact. You are in the minority and as loud as you yell and protest, you will always be in the minority."

Oh you are so wrong. We are the elephant in the room. We are here to rock the boat. We are the 'other' in the consensus stats. We are that little annoying tab holders on bread bags; perceived as useless, but realise it serves a purpose. We will rise like the new day sun!

"If you don't like the radio spot then don't listen to it"

Kinda hard to do that when it's a 30 second spot, it comes up randomly and the person listening to it is driving to work with a cigarette in one hand, and a mobile at the ear. I don't condone - I'm just saying. Oh I see your plan! Hit the subconscious and no one will be the wiser.

"but if you were careful enough to listen to the entire spot you would have heard me say that to the good people at Kieffe and Sons ford "everyone one is welcome at the dealership whether you are a believer or not, you are still welcome."

So when you insult us and say,"we at Kieffe & Sons Ford wonder why we don't just tell the other 14% to sit down and shut up. I guess maybe I just offended 14% of the people who are listening to this message." you still expect us to welcome your hospitality? What if I said, "Screw God and Jesus and the Holy Trinity! They are nothing, but attention whore mongers... Would you like to stay over for a drink?"

"You would also have heard me say that you may get God taken out of the class room and the pledge and even off our money, but you will not get God out of this dealership."

Well, that's good to hear. Manual labour will do that man some good. What's he making on minimum wage by the way?

"We do business according to the rules of the good book..If you are offended by that, then you are offended by the truth."
Rules:
Preheat oven to 335F
Butter baking sheet with brush
place condemned souls on sheet
cook for eternity

Serves: 1 devil

Heck yeah I'm offended! No left-overs to bring home!



"So each of you who find some offense to the radio ad and you want to be up in arms over it, you have the right to think what you wish but you do not have the right to take my copyrighted material and destort it for your personal gain. If you are offended, well like I said in the commercial.. thats tough."

No, no, no Horne it is we who say tough to you and your simple mind. It is a shame you had to speak your contradictory and broken 'truths'. Going 'up in arms' about something is a religious thing. Us Religion-Free people won't participate in your my god is better than your god bout, because we have nothing to bring to the table... Well, that doesn't make sense! How does bringing an invisible person to the table constitute to something?

Want to know the truth? Whom ever brings shit to the table and expects everyone to enjoy the bouquet is indeed ignorant.